I wanted to be a Christian missionary to Iran. Truth be told, I still do, but it’s not exactly the same brazen and childish desire I had in 2009 — when I searched for a Farsi teacher and a way to go to a nation at odds with America since before I was born.

I can’t hide the fact that I come from an Evangelical background—one that champions the foreign missions and “bringing the Gospel” to the farthest reaches of the globe—but my love for Jesus collided with the horrid things things that my “Christian Nation” did to alienate, corrupt, and oppress Iran. I like to think that my motivation, though naive, was well intentioned. I hoped to gently tear down the wall of division and animosity between both cultures. I never really got too far down the path in figuring out how to do that, but that’s the path of “bringing the Gospel to Iran” I had in-mind.

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